You've been given this questionnaire because of your recent failed dating experience with . In order to assist in better serving future potential partners, please check all boxes that apply and return this questionnaire to . [ ] I have a boyfriend, and he's going to kick your ass! [ ] I'm gay. [ ] I'm looking for a knight in shining armor. Literally. [ ] You didn't bring flowers. [ ] You smell funny. [ ] I'm not into guys. (Please specify: ____________________.) [ ] I always put out on the first date, but I was in the middle of my period. [ ] You call that a date!? [ ] You're too cheap. [ ] You're just too white n' nerdy. [ ] Hey! I'm up here! [ ] It's not you; it's me. [ ] Wait, who are you again? [ ] I've taken a vow of chastity. [ ] I've seen more emotional robots. [ ] My daddy doesn't let me date. [ ] I'm not interested in a relationship at this time. [ ] Everything was going great, but then you ________________________________. (Please fill in the blank.) [ ] Get lost, you creep. [ ] I would have LOVED to have gone out with you, but I had to, um, water my house plants. [ ] You're too submissive, and I like dominant guys. [ ] You're too dominant, and I like submissive guys. [ ] On second thoughts, how about next Tuesday? [ ] Before dating me, you must serenade me with sonnets from outside my window under a full moon, then climb up to my window with a dozen long-stem roses held between your teeth. [ ] I'm actually a man. Didn't you know? [ ] You're not in love with me; you're lusting after an illusion. [ ] I killed my last five boyfriends, but I like you too much to eat. [ ] I wasn't sure before, but now that I've seen this questionnaire, I'm happy with my decision. [ ] You're not rich enough to fund the lifestyle that I want. [ ] You're ugly. [ ] I misinterpreted your ill-advised attempt at humour as a deliberate insult and will now hate you forever. [ ] Let's just be friends. [ ] Other: __________________________________________________________________. Thank you for your honesty.